Looking in the mirror for one final beauty check, I finally felt like the my old self. The confident woman who loved to dress up in heels, curl her hair and get dolled up was peering back at me, smiling and ready to take on the night. It’s been a while since I felt this way. Actually, it’s been almost two years since I liked the person starring back at me.
Since becoming a mom, I’ve been too preoccupied with trying to gage this new journey in my life, getting used to juggling being a mother, wife and professional that I forgot how much I loved the process of getting ready and the anticipation of what the night had in store. Getting ready now comprised of quick makeup application, my hair in a bun and putting on the most comfiest outfit I don’t mind getting spit on, with a quick peek in the mirror to make sure my dark circles don’t make me resemble a raccoon.
Since having Mason, I’ve tried to avoid long pauses in the mirror because of my distain for my post-pregnancy body and overall look. Clothes didn’t look or fit right, unwelcomed bulges reared their ugly shape and limp, lifeless hair never did what it should. I felt like a mess and didn’t want to linger at mirrors because if I did, I only became more upset and depressed at the person I’d become.
Sure, I knew motherhood was a life-changing experience and that neither my body or self would remain unchanged, but f*ck, I’d lost myself along the way.It’s been a tiresome journey to get back into the groove of things and feel a bit like the old Kristie. And last night’s Date Night was the culmination of months of hard work, patience and, most importantly, self acceptance for the woman I am now. I’ve come to accept that my midsection jiggles and is dressed in zebra-like stripes, that many clothes in my closet will never look or fit the same and that those dark circles under my eyes can be hidden with the right concealer.
As I confidently walked out the door in my new Steve Madden heels (because we all know the kind of power of a new pair of heels has on a woman’s stride), I stopped to look at my husband as he opened the door for me and saw a special sparkle in his eyes that I haven’t noticed in a long time. As he told me how beautiful I looked before he closed the car door, I smiled because I actually believed it myself.